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Documenting for Court

Building a Credible Custody Record: what to write down, what to leave out, and how to keep your child out of it.

Keep a record your attorney can use and a judge can trust, without turning your notes into a weapon or your child into a witness. A one-hour class from Suzanne Dircks, M.A., LMHC, with a printable workbook.

Start the class

$12.95. About one hour, self-paced. An optional skills class; it does not issue a certificate.

An overhead view of a wooden kitchen table with a folded court document, fountain pen on a sage notebook, and a ceramic mug of coffee

10 lessons + self-check

What to write down, what to leave out, and how to keep your child out of it.

About 1 hour

Self-paced, on your phone or at the kitchen table.

Printable workbook

The Custody Record Log, two checklists, and a monthly summary.

$12.95

An optional skills class. It does not issue a certificate.

A custody case can make you feel that you must write down every unpleasant exchange. That feeling is understandable. But a huge diary of complaints can hide the facts that matter. The court usually needs clear, trustworthy facts, not a history of every adult disagreement.

Write every entry as though the judge, the other parent, both attorneys, and someday your child may read it.

Is your record helping you or hurting you?

Three entries from the class, in Suzanne's words. The first version in each pair is what most parents write. The second is what a fair reader can use.

When you are frightened

Instead of
He was drunk again and put the children in danger.
Write
At 6:12 p.m. during the exchange at the library, I smelled a strong odor of alcohol when Jordan spoke. His words sounded slurred to me, and he leaned against the car twice. I did not see him drink alcohol.

When it keeps happening

Instead of
She ruined my weekend on purpose and does this all the time.
Write
The parenting plan said the exchange was at 5:00 p.m. On March 14, the children arrived at 6:18 p.m. This was the third time since January 1 that they arrived more than 45 minutes late. The other dates were January 12 and February 23.

When you are the one writing the message

Instead of
You are unbelievable. You are always late and obviously don't care about the kids.
Write
The exchange was scheduled for 5:00 p.m., and it is now 5:25. Please tell me when you expect to arrive. Nora's school concert begins at 6:30, so we need to leave by 5:45.

This class is for you if...

  • You have a notebook, a notes app, or a folder of screenshots and you are not sure any of it would help.
  • You write entries when you are angry and later wish you had written them differently.
  • You are not sure whether to save the whole text thread or just the message that matters.
  • Your child sometimes says things after an exchange and you do not know what to write down or ask.
  • Your attorney has asked for a summary and you have two hundred pages of messages.
Start the class

$12.95. Private course access.

What this class is not

  • It is not legal advice. It tells you, repeatedly, to ask a family-law attorney in your state.
  • This is an optional record-keeping skills class. It does not issue a certificate or replace a court-ordered parenting course.
  • It will not tell you how to win, how to prove the other parent is unfit, or how to get a child to say something.

Ordered to take a parenting class? Start with the court-ordered course.

Ten short lessons and a self-check, one simple method

  1. Start here

    Safety first, then the limits of the class: general education for United States custody cases, not legal advice.

  2. What goes in the record

    A record, not a weapon. What belongs and what does not. Facts, what someone said, and your opinion. One simple entry format every time.

  3. Keeping the record trustworthy

    Calm words and your own mistakes. Saving originals. Never using children to collect proof. The one-page problem summary. Messages a judge may read.

About one hour. Self-paced private access. Ends with an optional eight-question self-check.

The printable workbook

  • Custody Record Log, the same ten fields for every entry
  • Before you save an entry, an eight-point check
  • Monthly Problem Summary for your attorney
  • Checklist for saving original records
  • A simple weekly record-keeping routine

Letter size. Print it, or fill it in on a tablet. The log is the lesson: every entry uses the same ten fields.

Written by the person the court appoints

Suzanne Dircks, M.A., LMHC, has spent 44 years working with families in custody conflict, including over 1,000 Guardian ad Litem investigations. She has read thousands of parent records. The useful ones share a handful of habits, and this class teaches those habits in plain language.

Suzanne Dircks, M.A., LMHC

Suzanne Dircks, M.A., LMHC

Licensed Mental Health Counselor | Former Guardian ad Litem

“Good notes are not a list of attacks on the other parent. They are a careful record of important facts that may help the court and other professionals understand what is happening to the children.”

Frequently asked questions

Keep the record, not the fight

One hour, ten lessons, a self-check, and a workbook you will still be using next month.

Start the classSee All Courses

$12.95. Private course access.

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